#17: Get a tattoo

I remember being a little girl and thinking I would never, ever get a tattoo. In my mind, tattoos belonged to big, scary men who rode motorcycles and wore leather jackets.

It took a long time for my perspective to adjust. Even when my brother got one, I thought, "Pffff, foolish!" I didn't see it as a mode of expression, just something that lay somewhere between self-mutilation and violation.

However, over the last few years, I started wanting one: a dove on my wrist. Nothing else. Nowhere else.

So I guess my point here (mostly explained for the sake of my poor mother who is slightly distraught over this) is that it's not about wanting a tattoo. Or it wasn't for me at least. It's more about what it means to me. This little bird, to me, represents my freedom, my peace of mind. It makes me smile when I look at it, not because I was drunk when I got it or because I got it during my "wild child" years, but because I'm freaking awesome and I'm gonna do awesome things. And this tattoo is there to remind me just that.

Don't worry mom, I'm not getting a motorcycle now.

#22: Go to New York

An advantage to Montreal that I have completely failed to milk is its proximity to a few really cool American cities. This year, I decided to put my reading week to good use and tackle the coolest of them all, New York City.

Pulling into New York City, it was love at first sight. We all know it is only a matter of time before I move to NYC, but after visiting, I can confirm that. It has the old charm which I so adore in Montreal via old buildings and giant trees, but what hit me most about New York City was the feeling of purpose that takes you over, just by walking its streets. My mind felt clearer, if that makes any sense.

Anyways I completely loved it and that is largely due to my amazing travel buddy Sarah, who was just hilarious (and remarkably useful for directions). Thank you for the time of my life!

Here is a little picture of me on the Brooklyn Bridge (one of two pictures of myself I currently have, since Sarah took most of the pictures of me on her camera).

The Grieving Stages of Dating

Sometimes (in my head of course), I catch myself asking, "Is this real life?" in the same voice as David at the dentist. And also, "Am I gonna be like this FOREVER?"

Basically, that video is the story of my (and many of my friends') love life. How are such amazing people still single? For instance, one of my friends is this gorgeous and vivacious girl, incredibly smart and funny. Yet she's never had a date. How is this possible??!! Another one of my friends is this great guy who is actually looking for a serious relationship (I thought those guys were a myth until I met him), yet he can't seem to find a mentally stable girl. It hit me that maybe we don't all find someone. Or it takes forever.

.... aaaaaand that's where I hit my five stages of grieving while dating.

1. Denial
I just haven't met the right person.
I'm sure he's right around the corner.
It's because I'm not trying to find someone. When I decide I'm ready, it'll just happen really fast, you'll see.
I've used all those lines (and many more) on myself. But I could never quite fool myself, and I quickly exited this stage.

2. Anger
UGH MEN.
I spent many, many months here in stage 2. What's wrong with them, why are they such jerks, why, why, whyyyyyyyyyy meeeeeeeeee.
I feel this would have been a great time to take up an angry sport like kickboxing or roller derby.
I also don't know how I managed to retain my male friends during this time. I think it went a lot like, "UGH MEN. I hate them. They're so [extremely rude generalization of some sort]. ......but not you, of course."
It was hard to step out of anger. And I won't deny I sometimes revisit this stage. You can't help getting frustrated when things don't work out, or you simply can't seem to find a decent guy to try to start something up with.

3. Bargaining
Here I feel like this stage is composed of many mini-stages. Fortunately (for you), I went through it, so let's break it down.
First, you plead with your mind/God/whatever else. "I'm willing to not ever find my perfect home, just PLEASE send me a boyfriend!"
Then, you rationalize that you just need one good relationship. If you could please just have someone now, you'd be ok with the fact that it wouldn't last more than a year. Cause at least that's one year happy, right? ....no.
What happens after is dark. Really dark. You sink to rock bottom and you think, "hey, I'm gonna settle!" Settling. The word alone makes me shiver. You start to doubt yourself and the standards you had set, and you lower them. And you go lower, and lower, and lower, and loooooooowwwwwer. It's bad. Because things aren't any better with the loser men you now date at this point.

4. Depression
This is where you end up after said losers. My time here was mostly composed of a lot of cake, chocolate, and watching The Notebook and other tortured love stories on a loop. Because nothing else worked and at least chocolate wouldn't stand me up or make me cry. But this stage is BAD. You let yourself go, your hair isn't shiny anymore, and you wear a lot of plain tee shirts and sweatpants. So not okay. Yet when you go through it, you can't help it! It's the mindset of "why bother?" I think it's a slippery slope to ending up obese with acne and no friends. Fortunately I snapped out of it. And by that I mean that my DVD of Love Story broke, so I had to give up and move on.

5. Acceptance
I think after a certain amount of time, you just kinda shrug it off and realize that whether you search actively or you go about your life normally, it's just not up to you. You find the right person when you find them, and in the meantime you might as well live normally. OR you will in fact end up alone and you may as well prepare for it. And that is why I adopted Florence, the first of 20 cats I will one day probably own. And that is just A-OK.


So, my fantastic single friends everywhere, I say cry. Eat cake. Bargain. Even settle for a while if you must. It is perfectly fine for you to go through these stages. As long as you, like me, arrive at the conclusion that you are fantastic and that a relationship more or less isn't gonna change that.

Not so serious words

True words of wisdom.

WIN for single girls everywhere.

My first thought. ALWAYS.

Grammar is so underrated.

This just made me cry I laughed so hard.

Serious words